The Secret Of Homosexuality / Lesbianism Revealed

The reason gays are attracted to men, or other gays who are men in physical form, is because gays are females born, or trapped,  in male bodies.
Conversely, lesbians are attracted to women, or other lesbians who are women in physical form, as they are males born, or trapped,  in female bodies. -- Book Of Knowledge

Slavery - From One Point Of View

There are two kinds of slavery. One is where you are paid to do shit for someone, or else; the other is where you are not paid but still have to do shit for someone, or else. 

Let The Judgement Day Games Begin

A vast ocean of people, a multitude too numerous to be counted as were the stars in the heavens or grains of sand in the desert, were waiting to enter a courtroom  and in the meantime were filling out a questionnaire, a sample of which was as follows, minus the boxes:

		(Tick Where Applicable)
No.	Sample Charges That May Be Filed By The Prosecution	Yes	No	Not Applicable
1	I was hungry, but you did not give me anything to eat.
2	I was thirsty, but you did not give me anything to drink.
3	I was naked, but you did not give me anything to wear.
4	I was a stranger, but you did not welcome me into your home.
5	I was sick and in prison, but you did not visit me.
		(Tick Where Applicable)
No.	Sample Pleas That May Be Entered By The Defense	Yes	No	Not Applicable
1	I was too busy making money.
2	I was too busy making love.
3	I was too busy making babies.
4	I was too busy getting drunk.
5	I was too busy getting angry.
6	I was too busy fighting insurgents / militants.
7	I was too  busy fighting with my in-laws / neighbors.
8	I was too busy travelling the world in search of adventure.
9	I was too busy travelling the world in search of gastronomic
	adventures.
10	I was too busy playing golf.
11	I was too busy playing cat-and-mouse with the law.
12	I was too busy enjoying life.
13	I was too busy being nice.
14	I was too busy being an asshole.
15	I was too busy chasing deadlines.
16	I was too busy chasing dreams.
17	I was too busy looking for love.
18	I was too busy looking for happiness.
19	I was too busy looking good.
20	I was too busy climbing up the corporate ladder.
21	I was too busy struggling to make ends meet.
22	I was too busy bitching about my lot in life.
23	Big deal. I was in prison myself.
24	Big deal. I was on a hospital bed myself.
25	Big deal. I was a soup kitchen regular myself.
26	Big deal. I was a charity case myself.
27	Sorry, I'm not a Christian.
28	Sorry, I'm an Atheist and do not recognize the legality
29	of these proceedings.
30	I demand my right to be represented by a lawyer.
31	We have followed Moses since the days of our forefathers
	and have kept all the commandments. As for this Jesus
	fellow, we don't know who he is.
31	We have followed Moses since the days of our forefathers
	and have kept all the commandments. As for this Jesus
	fellow, we know that he was a blasphemer who deserved
	everything Herod did to him.
32	We have been faithful to the Torah since the days of our
	forefathers and are still waiting for the Messiah who was to
	come. Please, Sir, can you tell us where to find him?
33	For centuries, Moses permitted us to divorce and marry
	as many times as we please, then this Jesus fellow comes
	along and forbids it. Moreover, he desecrates the Sabbath,
	healing the masses by magic and sorcery. Even worse,
	his disciples erect idols of him in their places of worship
	and expect us to bow down before these idols, which
	Moses forbade, and proclaim him Saviour. Please, Sir,
	tell us, what would you have us believe, that this Jesus
	fellow was the Messiah who was to come?
34	Excuse me. I'm here to collect my 72 virgins as a reward
	for jihardist duties on earth. Allahu Akhbar!
Other Pleas That May Be Entered By The Defense Not Found Here (In Your Own Words)