Monday, 24 March 2014

A Directive Concerning Forbidden Activities I

I. Directive:

From this day onwards, this twenty-fourth day of this third month in this two thousand fourteenth year of our Lord, you, Jack, a.k.a. Hansel, being the only resident pussycat left in this household, are hereby forbidden from indulging in the following activities for the rest of your natural life, so help you, God:

1) Going missing like the others before you.
2) Dying from something or the other like the others before you.

You are also hereby required to acknowledge the above by imprinting your paw print in the space provided below.

Thank you.

II. Acknowledgement:


Jack a.k.a. Hansel
Sole Surviving Resident Pussycat In This Household
24th March 2014

Sunday, 23 March 2014

News Reports We'd Like To See Regarding The Missing Malaysia Airlines Plane

Missing Plane Makes Emergency Landing  In Indian Ocean, Plane Intact & Everyone Safe, Pilot Says He Did It In Protest of Govt's Persecution Of Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim.

Kuala Lumpur - Long hours of flight simulator time has apparently paid off for the pilot who safely crash landed his Boeing 777 in the Indian Ocean after running out of fuel, according to an unnamed source at the heart of ongoing investigations into the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines flight MH370.

Not only did he manage to crash land it in one piece, so did everyone on board survive the crash landing in one piece as well, further testifying to his exceptional aviation skills.
Even more astonishing was the complete lack of animosity of the passengers and crew towards the pilot whom they even cheered the moment he safely crash landed the plane in the ocean.

"Whatever his crimes and regardless of the inconvenience and anguish suffered by us and our families respectively on account of him, we are behind him in this matter as the whole world knows how lopsided his country's politics are," said one of the passengers.

"I apologize to my passengers and crew and their families for the inconvenience and anxiety they have suffered and I am ready to go to jail for my actions, but let the whole world know how disgusted I am with how lopsided my country's politics are. Allah-u-Akbar!", said the pilot to his rescuers.

If Twitter Allowed Longer Tweets, Mine Would Look Like This

@NajibRazak: Which was worse: non-Muslim 'Allah' word usage or publication and distribution of Arabic bibles containing the 'Allah' word on every page perhaps? The latter, right? What then should we do about countries that allowed the perpetration of such a heinous crime as this - diplomat recalls and trade embargoes if no action was taken to eradicate what might seriously threaten the dominance of Islam in Malaysia if we were suddenly flooded with Arabic bibles originating from their shores?

A Long Haul Towards Developed Nation Status

Armed militias in certain parts of Africa, Asia and the Middle East celebrate important occasions by firing their AK-47s into the air.

Here in Malaysia we do the same thing by detonating firecrackers smack in the middle of residential areas, with the government's blessings too, I might add, turning them into war zones in gunpowder detonation terms.

Do developed nations do this, anyone? Do they not designate open public places far away from residential areas for such rowdy activities?

Heaven help us if achieving developed nation status doesn't include such a requirement because the way I see it, there's no point having developed nation infrastructure and cities in place if cowboys are going to be running wild in the streets firing their guns  into the air in celebration of important occasions or festivals each time one comes along, or something to that effect.