Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Overheard On Facebook

Dad: Honey, where’re my socks?

Mom: In your undies drawer, dear.

Melissa: Mom, can I go over to Kate’s tonight? The girls are having a sleepover.

Mom: Ask your dad.

Melissa: Dad’s logged off, Mom. Can I?

Mom: Send him a message. He’ll get it when he reaches the office.

Dad (30 mins later): Ok, Mel, you can go, but nothing you’re not supposed to do, alright?

Melissa: Sure thing, Dad, have I ever let you down?

Dad: No, but there’s always a first time.

Mom: Oh, come now, dear. Mel’s all right, you know that. Johnny, doggy needs to go outside. Take him, will you?

Johnny: I’m at Billy’s house, Mom, thirty miles away, remember?

Dad: That Billy Boy’s no good, son. I hear say he’s into contraband goods.

Mom: What?!? You get back here this instant, John Boy!!!

Johnny: Aww, Dad, Billy’s alright. It’s not like he’s a smuggler or something.

Dad: Well, he’s sniffing it, ain’t he?

Mom: John Boy, you get back here this instant or I’m gonna whip your sorry ass next time I see you!!!

Johnny: Hey Bill, I gotta go, buddy, something’s up.

Bill: Sure thing, pal. Hey, tell your old man it’s no big deal. My dad says they used to do worse things in school together. LOL

Johnny: Pot calling the kettle black, huh? LOL

Dad: Watch your mouth, son. Tell your friend his dad’s got his school buddies all mixed up. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.

Billy’s Dad: Hey Tom, old buddy, how’re you doing, man? Glad you brought that schooldays thing  up. It always bothered me wondering what you and my gal Sally Ann were doing behind the tool shed on the last day of school. Oh, one more thing. Unless you’re the town sheriff or his deputy, don’t you go mouthing off dishonorable things about my son. That boy is as good a boy as they come, a chip of the old block, if I do say so myself.

Johnny’s Dad: Hey Jack, nice to see you too! About Sally Ann, well, you can’t really blame a gal like that if her guy’s not giving her the attention she needs, now can you? LOL

Billy’s Dad: Well, Tom, old buddy, that’s what your gal Lucille said about you when she and I went for that long walk in the woods soon after you and Sally Ann disappeared behind that shed. LOL

Mom: Ok, guys, that’s enough. But thanks all the same, Jack. That’s one affair Tom didn’t tell me about before he popped that all-important question. When he comes home tonight, he’s gonna tell me why.

Billy’s Dad: LOL

Johnny: LOL

Melissa: LOL

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